esm398:

jakebumlick:

pika-brew:

pika-brew:

My roommate and I are really sick and we look like shit, but we were hungry so we ordered pizza.
But we didn’t want anyone to see us, so we asked them over the phone if we can leave the money on the door and they can just drop off the pizza.

The guy said sure.

So we decided to leave a nice little note
image

image

and we hung it above the door bell. I hope they like it!

image

oMGGGG

image

pizza cares

Pizza understands

shinjimikami:

I FUCKING HATE going to the bathroom at 2am because every time i walk back to my room i feel like i’m being fucking chased by a ghost or something

effiestrinkets:

Effie Trinket + her two unruly children

Effie’s somewhat teary and keeps patting my hair and talking about how she told everyone we were pearls.

"The only think I regret is not being married and having a child." -Benedict Cumberbatch

The snap of legs being thrown in the air off in the distance by every cumbercookie…

The Dream 2

I pull my hair back into a bun. My hair was completely perfect, as I saw no strand out of place. I slip into my black dress with a band of black beads placed around the bust line. The skirt of the dress laid against my toes. I rub my shoulders with my hands, surprised with the skin showing from this dress. I stare at my phone, hoping for a message from him. But there wasn’t. I leave my bathroom and go into the living room and take a seat on my couch.

A half out has passed and still not a word. Later on, the half hour turned into an hour. My father became unhappy and told me to get into the car. He wasn’t for sure where it was but we eventually got there.

I go inside of the building. The ceiling was covered with multi colored lights. There were four chandeliers placed side by side. Tables were set up for those he needed a rest. I handed the woman at the ticket booth my ticket.

"This ticket is for a couple." She said to me.

"Do you see him with?" She had an apologetic smile on her face and took the ticket from me. I say down a table where a few of my friends were. We talked for a bit, but they eventually left to dance some more. I became extremely bored.

"Alright ladies and germs, let’s get your dancing to a close. We have a special announcement." One friend of mine, Jordan, said into the mic. At that moment, this man who I had no favor for sat down next to me and scowled. His name was Matthew, though I usually called him by his last name. "This announcement might not affect all of you, but I know it’ll affect at least one of you." Jordan was smiling at the audience.

There was a stool placed in the middle of stage. I saw Ian sit down on that stool. The one who was supposed to pick me up before the dance. He had regret fill his face. He stared down at his feet and began speaking. “I’ve made a mistake recently. I made a promise and broke it. I realized I shouldn’t have done this but I know now it was my mistake for listening to someone else.” Someone handed him a guitar. He began playing a simple song, but it turned out to be one of my favorites. In my life by the Beatles. The audience applauded when he finished. When he finished, he walked up to me and smiled. “I’m sorry.”

“I think you’ve made up for it.” I smiled in return.

“I shouldn’t have stood you up like that.” I kissed him on the cheek.

“Apology accepted.” He kissed me full on the lips.


I woke up staring at my ceiling. I check my phone, and received a message from Ian.


To: You

From: Ian

Ready for tonight? :)

Calling Mr. Benedict

Bold: actual human to human conversation/thoughts

Thin: texting

#Image story first person


“I mean, I don’t see what the problem is. I say go for it.” My absolute best friend, Andy, said while handing me a piece of paper. She was from London, and is visiting for a year.

“But I don’t even know him. I don’t know his name or what he looks like. Why should I even meet him? What if he’s weird?” I say.

“But he’s really nice.”

“You know him?”

“Yes, of course. Go for it.”

“No, I don’t want to.” Andy then took my phone out of my hands and sent a message to this mysterious man. After a few short seconds, my phone went off. “Give me my phone back.”

“Have fun.” Andy got up and left. I took my phone and she labeled his name in my phone as Mystery Cutie. The first message, apparently from me was, ‘GET YOUR ASS OUT OF BED.’ And the response I get is ‘Who the hell is this?’

I sent a text back.

‘Sorry, that wasn’t me, that was a friend. She says she knows you.’

‘Who is your friend?’

‘Andy.’

‘Oh, well you don’t really need to text me any more do you?’

‘She said I had too, so…’

‘Well, I think I’d best be going now.’

‘I don’t even know your name.’

‘Does it matter?’

‘Yeah, so I have a different name in my phone instead of Mystery Cutie.’

‘Mystery Cutie?? There’s a new one.’

‘Andy put it there, not me.’

‘That does sound like her. My name is Ben.’

‘That’s a lovely name, Ben.’

‘And yours?’

‘[YN]’

‘That’s nice. I do have to go now, work is calling me.’

‘Ok have fun.’


I changed his name to Ben in my phone. This man seemed eager to stop talking to me though. A couple days passed and I recieved a text from Ben.

‘Hey.’

‘Hello’ I was seriously smiling. I don’t know him and I’m already blushing.

‘What’s up?’

‘I just got off of work.’

‘Oh. Where do you work?’

‘A radio station, currently.’

‘Where at?’

‘Boston’

‘Where’s that?’

‘Massachusetts.’

‘Is that in America?’

‘Yeah?’

‘Oh. I live in London.’

‘Whoa. I thought you lived in Boston.’

‘And I thought you lived in London’

‘Now we know.’

‘Yeah.’

‘Where do you work?’

‘Here and there.’

‘Here and there, you move from place to place?’

‘I guess you can say that.’

‘What’s your study?’

‘Performing Arts.’

‘So a singer or and actor?’

‘Actor.’

‘Have you been in anything?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Like what?’

‘Can we talk about you?’

‘That’s an interesting movie. Lol.’

‘Ok. What do you look like?’ I sent him a picture of myself.

‘Ok.’

‘That’s it? Ok? What do you look like?’ He sent a picture. ‘That looks like a model. Did you take this off of the internet?’

‘No.’

‘Prove it. Take a picture of yourself with drawing of yourself on the paper and say, Hello [YN] I’m wearing funny socks.’ And he did. ‘I’m sorry. You are a very good looking man.’

‘And you look like a very pretty girl. So how do I not know that it’s really you?’

‘What do you want me to do?’

‘Nude pics.’

‘No.’

‘I’m kidding.’

‘You better.’

‘Write on a piece of paper that says, Hello I’m from Amurikuh holding a piece of cheese.’

‘You mean, ‘Merica.’

‘’Merica.’

‘’Merica.’

‘’Merrrrrrriicaaa.’

‘’MERICA GET IT RIGHT.’

‘America.’

‘Haha.’

‘I have to go.’

‘Oh ok.’

‘Bye :)’


That little smile. That was adorable. He’s funny.

Later that day, I was out with Andy. We went to a coffee shop to hang out for a bit.

“So, have you talked to Ben?”

“Yeah.”

“And?”

“At first he didn’t want to talk to me, but then we had a really nice conversation.”

“Okay. That’s good.” She kept an evil smile on her face.

“What are you planning?” She looks as if I’ve offended her.

“Absolutely nothing.”

“Liar.” I took her beanie off of her head. Her short hair fell to her shoulders. I’ve started a war. She is going to kill me. I grab my coffee, place five dollars on the table and make a run for the door. Good thing my coffee was almost gone. I ran down the block until I found a store that I could hide in. I did eventually find one. I was browsing the clothing rack, hoping Andy wouldn’t find me. I still had her beanie.

The door to the shop opened, and of course, it was Andy. I dropped her hat in plain sight so she could see it. I told the girl at the desk to be quiet. She smiled at me. I hid in the clothing rack. Andy kept repeating my name, trying to find me. At this moment. The moment where I wasn’t thinking about him. The only moment in the world where anything but him should’ve happened. My phone rang. I recieved a text message from him. The clothing rack opened and Andy was looking straight down at me.

“Son of a bitch!” I yelled. Andy punched me in the arm and put her hat back on.

‘Hey.’

‘You bastard!!!’

‘What did I do?’ I drove home and I probably should’ve responded considering the pure fact that I got five texts from him. Oh well. I’ll just explain to him.

‘Hello?’ ‘What did I do?’ ‘Tell me!’ ‘[YN]’

‘I’m sorry, I was driving. I couldn’t answer my phone. Nothing’s wrong. You didn’t do anything. Andy and I were chasing each other, and I was hiding from her and my phone went off and she found me.’ There was no answer. ‘Hello?’ He read the message. He saw it a couple minutes ago. ‘Hey, I’m sorry.’

A few hours later, I was in bed and trying to sleep, but then I received a text from him.

‘Sorry, I was sleeping.’

‘Sleeping? From nine until four? Who gets up at four?’

‘What? It’s nine o’clock here.’

‘What? No it’s not.’

‘You live in Boston. I live in London.’

‘Oh right!’

‘Haha. You’re funny.’

‘No, I just don’t think.’ I was extremely tired, but I didn’t want to tell him off or anything.

‘So, what are you up to?’

‘Well, I was sleeping.’

‘I’m sorry. I forget that it’s four over there.’ I decided not to answer him. I slept in until eleven. I didn’t have to work or anything. I wonder if Ben is working. I decided not to bother him.

The day began when  I woke. I cooked myself brunch in my little apartment. It was small, but it had an office, a kitchen, a bathroom, living room and bedroom. It was good. For now. I haven’t recieved a text in a while. Maybe I should text him.

‘Good morning.’ I say to him. After waiting for a response, my phone rang. He was calling. Oh my god what do I do?!

“Hello?” I say. Excited to hear what he sounds like.

“Hello. I cannot talk long so I was hoping to catch you before I leave.” Oh my gosh. His voice is pure and lovely. It sounds like a cello inside a purring tiger wrapped in velvet. Holy shit

“Oh. What are you doing?”

“I’m leaving for work, and I think its in the States.”

“Really?! Where?”

“Most likely eastern America.”

“You’re filming right?”

“Yeah”

“What’s your full name?”

“If I tell you, you’ll think of me as an actor and not a person.

“You don’t know me.”

“You might be a crazy fan girl.”

“So?”

“My name is Ben. Is that enough?”

“It’s more than enough. And your voice is amazing, I will say that.”

“Thank you. You’re very kind. I have to go soon.”

“Wait, are we going to meet?”

“Yeah. My plane lands in three minutes.”

“What?!”

“No, I mean, I’ll get there in five hours and three minutes. We have that time difference.”

“Right. What do you want me to wear, or do you you want me to get you anything?”

“What’s the weather like over there right now?”

“Chilly. Around the high thirties, low forties.”

“Ok. Wear shorts and a light jacket. And have two cups of coffee. One for you and one for me.”

“There’s snow outside.”

“But you have coffee.”

“Well…. Fine.”

“I will see you soon.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.” He said his final word and the phone ended. This is going to cost me money. Across the pond fees. Oh well. This guy was nice. I know what he looks like and I know what he sounds like. He’s an actor, and is busy a lot. Is that enough to go by?

I decide to get dressed now. I set an alarm for when I should leave the house. I put on athletic shorts that most guys wear, a tank top and a light jacket. I turn on the tv, the movie star trek was on. It was the second one. Into Darkness. I watched it for about two minutes. The scene was that they were talking about this man named Khan and how he was going to destroy the Enterprise because he has issues and I don’t know why. Before I changed the channel, I saw what Khan looked like. He seemed familiar, but I changed the channel because I never really liked these movies. My day went by really slow because I really wanted to meet Ben. I was wanting to look him up but I feel like I’d spoil actually know him for himself. I was leaning towards my laptop to figure out who he was but everything I know about him, was very small. His name, and what he looks like. That doesn’t help.

Four hours later, I get into my car and drive to the airport. I couldn’t convince security to let me through to meet Ben, but I wait for a few minutes before I bought the coffee cups. I see a few girls walk up and wait by the escalators with posters. I didn’t pay attention to it, but eventually there were twenty girls crowding the escalators, some with posters that say Welcome to Boston, or We love you, or I’m your Cumberbitch. Cumberbitch? What the hell? Most of these girls are still in high school, why would they be someones bitch? Oh my god. That’s just disgusting. I still ignore them. It was about time for him to appear. The whole escalator was invisible to me there were so many girls. I see some people come down the escalators. Then eventually some in black suits escorting someone. I think that’s Ben. I picked up the coffee cups and slowly move towards the screaming fan girls.

There he was. Holding a suitcase and wearing sunglasses to hide from the flashes of the cameras. The security guards were pushing at the girls crowding him. I came closer to him. Ben said something into the ear of one of the guards. The guards then stopped walking and the girls slowly stopped screaming. I just kind of stood there. Waiting. He looked at me and smiled.

“Is this my coffee?” He asked.

“Yes.” I said.

“You’re [YN]?”

“Yup.”

“Good. I can tell. Join me?” I think he’s six foot. The other girls looked at me like I was the devil. Ben and I were escorted to a black car. It was a really nice car. I really liked it. But I felt really out of place. I heard him mumble something.

“Hello?” He said.

“Oh sorry.”

“I asked how you were.”

“I’m quite well.”

“Good. That’s good.”

“So.” He didn’t answer me after that. He just stared out of the window. “It’s really nice to meet you. I still don’t know your full name.”

“Neither do I.”

“It’s [YFN].”

“That’s a lovely name. My full name is Benedict.”

“That’s an interesting name. Don’t hear many of those. I really like it.” He smiled at me and chuckled a little. “So, you seem to have a lot of fan girls.”

“I do. I do. They do get a bit much. Cumberbitches. What a name that is. It’s repulsive don’t you think.”

“Well. I wouldn’t know what to make of it, considering that it’s probably your last name and I don’t even know your last name.”

“I think it’d be better that way.”

“I could still look you up, just by typing your name into google. I’m sure there’d be a few results.”

“Haha. I like you. You’re funny.”

“I’m not funny. I’m serious.” I pull out my phone. I type in Benedict Cumberbitch in google and it came up with Benedict Cumberbatch. He smiled, but looked disappointed. It showed a picture of him, but I didn’t read anything. I locked my phone and looked Benedict straight in the eye. His eyes were blue. I was in love with them. His hair was near black, very dark brown. His eyebrows didn’t really match so he most likely dyed his hair. He is only six foot but his svelte body makes him look taller. His cheekbones would cut my hands if I touch them. He was gorgeous. Does he always look like this? Proud, classy, intelligent but never cares. I really like him.

"You’re very nice to look at."

"Thank you. The same with you."

"Can I ask you something?" He nodded. "Why did you ask me to bring you coffee?"

"Because I needed caffeine."

"No, I mean why did you ask me?"

"Because you’d bring me coffee."

"But why me?"

"Because I like you." I remained silent. I took a drink of the coffee, looked out the window, then at my phone, took another drink, looked at Benedict and said, "What do you mean."

"In a friendly matter."

"Right of course." He smiled at me. I smiled back. He then looks confused for a second and checked the time on his watch. The car slowed down and parked. The driver opened the door for us and I followed Ben for a little bit. He met up with a couple people and we finally ended up at a trailer. Under assumption that it was his acting trailer, we go inside and sat down.

"What do you want to do?"

"I thought I was just getting coffee?" I said.

"Well, I have time, show me around town?"

"Sure. But, how much time do you have?"

"The rest of the day." He smiled.

"I need my car though."

"No worries."

"It’s back at the airport."

“Well, we can take a limo.”

“I’m completely fine with that.”

“Yes, but I need a disguise.” Am I really hearing this? Holy shit did he just say he needed a disguise? He sounds like he’s twelve.

“Are you kidding me? A disguise?”

“I can’t go out there looking like this. All those Americans seeing me, asking for my autograph, climbing on me and not leaving me alone. They’ll block you off and not pay attention to you. I don’t want to do that to you.” I blush. “Do you suppose I could get away with a mustache?” He said in a higher pitched french accent. I was crying when he said that. I could not contain my laughter. He picked up a sharpie and smiled. “What about sunglasses.” He said in a southern American accent.

“Please never speak in a southern accent again.”

“Why? What’s wrong with it?”

“Everything.” He looked at me with curiosity, then smiled. He put on a pair of sunglasses.

“What about a hat?”

“I guess that could work.” He put on a fedora. “Um, no. Try this instead.” I handed him my beanie.

“This doesn’t have lice does it?”

“What? No. What the heck.” He put it on all the way and folded back some of it so he could see. “No you’re wearing it wrong.”

“What? How?” I unfolded the beanie and pulled it slightly off of his head so it rested on his hair. I stared into his eyes and smiled. He smiled back and sighed. “Well, shall we be on our way?” We walked towards the door of the trailer. “You might want to put these on.” He handed me sunglasses.

“I already have some.”

“Then put them on! You’ll need it.” He opened the doors. There were a bunch of screaming girls saying that they loved him. One of them asked who I was, and I was about to speak, but Ben warned me not to with his hands. The limo was ready and waiting for us. Ben smiled and waved to his fans and told be to get in first.

“Where to?” I asked.

“I don’t know.” We ended up going all over town. I got to know him better.

The limo stopped at the airport so I could pick up my car.

“So.” Benedict said to me.

“So.”

“So here we are.” His voice purred with a heavy sigh.

“Do you think we meet again?”

“That’s a really hard question to answer. Why don’t I text you? When are you free?”

“Well, I work mornings from seven until two on the radio. After that, I’m pretty free.”

“Ok.” He smiled. I get into my car and roll down the window.

“I guess I’ll see you again some time?” He smiled and walked towards his limo.



I never did see him again.

-http://storiesandrandom.tumblr.com/